Writing Workshop:
Hello Friends,
I am hosting a virtual writing workshop on January 26th at 7:30pm EST. I will walk you through my own writing process and we will all get to write new pieces together. Some of those who wish will get to share their pieces with me and I will provide some positive feedback. Writing can be a powerful tool for processing your healing and for enhancing your relationships. This workshop will fill up. The last time I did one, we had 1200 people sign up quickly. A ticket to the workshop includes a copy of Lighter, if you already have a copy you can gift it to a friend. After you click the button below, click the red checkout button to secure your ticket.
Three Thoughts:
With just a small amount of partial information, the mind can develop a grand story that is driven not by reason but by tension. It is easy for the mind to weave narratives that make you agitated when you are tired or feeling less than optimal. A dense pattern of fear sitting in your subconscious can make you see threats where there really are none. The mind is wired for defensiveness which makes it challenging to not make assumptions. Fortunately, even deeply rooted habits can be undone. Staying in tune with your emotions by being able to feel when they are agitated or light can help you slow down when you are about to launch into a baseless assumption. If you are aware that you are moving into an agitated state of mind, you can use this as a sign to suspend the formation of assumptions and instead remind yourself that you are safe. The clearest assessments come when you feel grounded.
A lot of healing is based on repetition. We often forget how many times we have reacted blindly in the past and how that accumulates in the mind to reinforce certain behavior patterns. To undo a lifetime of reactions is possible but it requires focus and intentional effort. When you genuinely make it a goal to transform, it is only a matter of time until you start seeing results. You want to apply effort into your attempts, but you never want to be rough or harsh with yourself. Letting go of unwanted habits and building new ones will ask you to dig deep into gentleness and patience. You are not going to get it right every time but eventually you will apply enough calm and compassionate effort that your new way of living will become second nature.
Most relationships don’t start off with both people having a strong base of emotional maturity. It will become more common in the future as healing becomes an integral part of our global culture, but right now it is more about being open to growing together in a nourishing and sustainable manner. It is unreasonable to expect perfection from yourself or another person, but you can look for qualities that a healthy relationship can be built on. Three standout qualities are: humility, being open to feedback, and being in touch with their emotions. Humility is necessary because without it, growth is not possible. Being open to feedback is valuable because through mutual honesty you create a safe and vibrant home together. Being in touch with your emotions is needed because you need to know/accept yourself deeply to be able to love your partner well.
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Podcast:
Just had an amazing convo with Fearne Cotton. I really enjoyed this one! We talk a lot about meditation, my journey, reactions and how healing takes time. Hope this one serves you well!
A Favor
Great reviews make a really big difference. If you loved Lighter and ordered it through Amazon, can you do me the favor of writing a 5 star review there? Grateful for your help!
Links:
Clarity & Connection USA (29% off)
Clarity & Connection in Spanish
Inward (20% off )
The first one on this list, the tension and defensiveness of the mind and the creation of elaborate stories based on assumptions and ideas....that is what I struggle with the most now. Sometimes I find it so hard to atop or break the cycle, and other moments it's easier. I hope in time I'll see some changes.