Toxicity, Critical Thinking, And Love
Three thoughts:
Yes, you should remove people from your life who are abusive, exceedingly difficult, and full of way too much negativity. At the same time, if you are removing people from your life whenever there is any conflict, this will encourage the unhealthy pattern of running away. Ending connections with family, friends, or an intimate partner whenever disharmony appears is a recipe for loneliness and it creates a situation where you do not allow yourself to develop the critical skill of conflict resolution. You also are not allowing yourself the opportunity to experience the elevated harmony that occurs when understanding dissolves the tension between two people. Often, small amounts of conflict actually helps bring two people closer together if they are open to listening to each other’s perspectives and finding a middle ground. Harmony does not appear out of nowhere; it is intentionally constructed through the honest and calm communication that two people share. Removing toxic people from your life has become a popular idea on social media, but any idea taken to an extreme can end up producing unhealthy results. Building proper boundaries is important, but it is also important to step out of your comfort zone and calmly face conflict – this can help deepen your connections.
Technology pushes everyone to make quick judgments. We have become so accustomed to this new speed that many take offense when you take time before you speak. It takes strength to not immediately move with the crowd and to feel ok about not having much to say because you are still trying to understand what is really happening. It is easier to just adopt what your friends and mass media are saying as your own, but this style of living can lead to being inauthentic and it can weaken your critical thinking. On the other hand, speaking up is powerful, but we should at the least make sure it is coming from a genuine place and not from our craving for approval from others. Our world is certainly one of sharp ups and downs, but we have to be attentive enough to not let the algorithm think for us. When you realize that the internet is battling for your attention, because this is the way it creates profit, it helps you develop a healthy level of skepticism. This understanding encourages you to guard your mind so that it is not inundated with unsubstantiated information. Not getting rushed by others and remaining flexible as you process things helps you keep your peace.
For love to flourish, letting go is necessary. The opposite of love is attachment. If all we can think about is what we want and fail to consider what we should be giving, then real love is far away. Love is something we feel within ourselves that helps us connect with freedom and it helps us perceive reality more clearly. Love is the nourishment we give to our relationships and the feeling of profound selflessness that arises when we think about properly caring for the ones closest to us. The friction we feel within relationships is not because of love, it is due to attachment. Attachment most often takes the shape of control, especially when we want someone to be a certain way or to make choices that we find agreeable. Attachment stands in the way of harmony and it erodes the feeling of home. If you find that a lot of friction is entering your relationship, ask yourself, “Where can I let go?”
Big Price Drop: 36% off Clarity & Connection
Clarity & Connection is 36% off the original price.
Usually, a sale like this is temporary. I wish I could tell you when it will be over, but I don’t control the online prices.
You can get a copy of Clarity & Connection through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, Book Depository for international orders, and at your local bookstore.
My first book Inward is currently 20% off the original price.
Journal Prompt:
In what ways have you been allowing yourself to move at your own pace? Is there a recent conflict that occurred in your life where you ended up learning more about yourself? What boundaries are you working on developing? What are 3 important things that you want a relationship to have?
Links:
Clarity & Connection USA (36% off the original price)
Clarity & Connection Barnes & Noble
Clarity & Connection Local Bookstores
Inward (20% off the original price)