The Power of Letting Go
The purpose of letting go is not to erase emotions, but to acknowledge their presence and transform your relationship to them.
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To be able to chip away at these old reactions that keep coming up and chart a new course in our behavior is a long road to travel. Often, the conditioning that we accumulate becomes dense and packs into the mind like hardened sediment from times long ago.
Unconsciously, we carry these thick layers of concrete as patterns that keep affecting us in the present. It is completely possible to heal and let go, but it serves us best to be realistic about how much we carry inside us and how long it will take to fully rewire the mind. To be able to take on a fresh perspective and reframe old problems does not happen quickly. Healing is not possible without patience. And we must accept that letting go is a gradual process.
Letting go is not a one-time event; it is a habit that requires consistent repetition to become strong. Sometimes the reaction to the pain is so deep that we have to observe and release the tension repeatedly to fully cleanse the wound. Patterns for specific types of behaviors can be so firmly rooted that during our healing process we may feel that the same issues keep coming up for us to work on. We may even feel like we aren’t making progress because of these persistent patterns, but in reality we are just getting the opportunity to release deeper layers of the same material.
The purpose of letting go is not to erase emotions, but to acknowledge their presence and transform your relationship to them. Being able to let go while a tough emotion is passing through helps us be okay with not being okay.
Letting go reaches deeper levels when your observation of what is happening inside you is done with total acceptance and when you remember that every part of life is impermanent. Especially in the mind, adding more tension to the tension that is already there will not make things better.
When tension is met with unconditional acceptance, it has the space it needs to naturally unfold and release. Unloading and facing the mental weight of past hurt is never easy, but it is possible, especially when you feel ready for a great transformation.
A common fear is that letting go might make you passive. We are often so driven by our pain and fear that it is hard to conceive of any other way of existing. The reality is that letting go will not make you dull, and it certainly will not turn you into a pushover.
What it does do is reconfigure your mind so that you are no longer carrying the heavy weight of the past into the present.
If you are seeking to reclaim your power, one of the essential steps is realizing how much of your power you have given up to the hurt of the past and your fears of the future.
5 realizations regarding letting go:
1. The heavy mental weight that you carry consumes a lot of your energy. Resisting, suppressing, or fighting your emotions on a regular basis quietly eats up your reserves. Living in a constant inner battle and treating yourself like an enemy push you far away from living at your most optimal level. Any mental tension will automatically consume energy, and when the added tension is removed, you’ll feel a new vibrancy for life.
2. Letting go actually sharpens the mind by cleansing your perception. Letting go helps you see the moment you are in without the lens of the past dominating the way you perceive reality. A lighter mind and clearer eyes make space for wiser decision making. Your ability to act intelligently and authentically improves greatly the more you let go.
3. Letting go does not mean you give up on your goals. When you are able to relinquish the past and stop fearing the future, you gain a greater sense of awareness in the present moment, which will help you focus and think more effectively. Your best strategy to attain your goals will be more accessible when the weight of the past is no longer limiting your creativity. Letting go of craving quick results helps you get comfortable with the process of accomplishing new and difficult things. If you want to attain something great, you need to be ready for the long journey and able to adjust your strategy along the way.
4. Letting go does not erase the tough things that have happened. The key is to release the heavy attachments you have to these thoughts. The memories will still appear from time to time, even after deep healing has happened, but you know your effort has made a difference when you no longer react to these old memories with the same intensity as before. As a sign of victory, you can let tough thoughts and emotions pass without allowing them to dominate your mind or control your actions.
5. Letting go does not make you coldhearted. Letting go actually decreases self-centeredness and allows love to come forward much more unconditionally and with greater strength. It is hard to love yourself and others well when your mind is consumed with tension and craving control. Love shines brightest when it is shared in the present moment. When you put yourself through the process of letting go, you gain greater access to the here and now.
You can read a lot more about this topic in my new book How to Love Better. It is temporarily 33% off on Amazon.
Events:
Thank you for a beautiful night San Francisco! Definitely the biggest event of the tour. So inspiring seeing 1300 of you! I will never forget that night.
Boulder March 18th - In conversation with Nicole Behnam, host of Beyond the Interview. Click here for tickets. (20 tickets left)
Austin March 20th - In conversation with Adriene Mishler, founder of Yoga with Adriene. Click here for tickets. (SOLD OUT)
London March 29th - In conversation with Poppy Jamie, founder of Cuddle Sleep Health. Click here for tickets. (33 tickets left)
There are a limited amount of signed copies of How to Love Better available here.
"When tension is met with unconditional acceptance, it has the space it needs to naturally unfold and release." thank you always