The Pillars of Emotional Maturity
Emotional maturity is an expansive term that can be defined in different ways. To me, emotional maturity is a life-long journey that seeks to improve the way you relate to your emotions, especially in ways where you reclaim your power from your past and cause yourself less mental tension. There are 4 main components that stand out. Emotional maturity is not about perfection, these 4 pillars just help us figure out where we are in the process and what we need to work on next. Making progress in any of these categories is a reason for celebration. Do not be hard on yourself for not having it all right, what matters is that you are moving forward.
Self-awareness: Emotional maturity begins when you turn your attention inward. The ability to see yourself as you move through the ups and downs of life without running away or suppressing what comes up in your mind immediately enhances your understanding of yourself. Being able to feel your emotions as they come and go, coming to terms with your past and noticing the way it shows up in your present, watching your mind as it processes difficult situations, taking note of behavior patterns that show up repeatedly in your life, examining your inner narrative and how your own thinking effects your emotions – paying close attention to all of these mental movements opens the door to the type of learning that can transform your life. Your ability to see yourself through the lens of radical honesty is the foundation of emotional maturity, from this vantage point you can make decisions from a place of active clarity instead of a place of passive unconsciousness.
Non-reaction: Building your self-awareness increases the agility of your mind. When you make time to be present in your own mind, it becomes possible to slow things down when difficult situations arise. Instead of falling back into blind reactions that are rooted in your past, you can intentionally lean into pausing and give yourself a moment to take a look at what is actually happening. This ability to pause is not easy and it takes time to build this quality of the mind, but the results of this practice are immense. Not reacting functions as a medium for greater emotional maturity. Now that you can see yourself and give yourself time, you can more easily behave in ways that align with your goals and honor your authenticity. Finding that balance where you can be honest about what you are feeling and not allow this temporary emotion to take total control of your actions can help you better handle the unexpected changes of life.
Compassion: When you are making use of your new self-awareness and no longer reacting to every challenging situation in the same way that you used to, it becomes a lot easier to feel love and compassion for yourself and other people. As you better understand yourself, your inclination to punish yourself for mistakes will decrease. Non-reaction is essentially a practice in patience. The patience you are building will permeate your mind and relax your perception. Instead of perceiving things through judgment, you will be better able to embrace the way the long journey of developing emotional maturity slowly reveals and helps you accept your imperfections. Additionally, now that you can see yourself better, you will naturally be able to see others more clearly. As you see others struggle with their patterns, learn more about themselves, and move through their own ups and downs, it will become easier to feel compassion for them because you too have gone through these steps and you know how challenging it can be. Emotional maturity gives you the strength to see things outside of your own perspective. Being able to place yourself in another person’s shoes and see their side of things is an active form of compassion.
Growth/healing: Your emotional maturity deepens when you can acknowledge that you have much to learn and heal. Making an active commitment to your personal evolution, whether that is specifically working on letting go of old trauma or focusing on developing new positive habits, will open you up to deeper levels of wisdom and happiness. One of the hardest battles to overcome is simply having enough courage and inner security to adopt a lifestyle that seeks to support your evolution and mental health. Once you make this lifelong pledge to grow, your task will be to apply effort so that you can remain on the path. Emotional maturity is a long practice in humility and persistence, because you understand that your immediate thoughts are not always correct and that it is worth your time to patiently investigate the roots of your patterns. At its core, emotional maturity is you improving your communication with yourself. This ongoing commitment will support the new harmony growing in your mind in expanding outward into your connections with other people.
My 2nd Book:
My new book, Clarity & Connection, is now available for preorder wherever books are sold. A special thank you to everyone who has already ordered a copy, preorders make a huge difference in the reach and success of a book. If you haven’t gotten a copy yet, now is a good time because the price of the book has already been lowered. Not sure how long the sale will last, because I don’t control the prices online.
Clarity & Connection is the second book of a trilogy that started with Inward. My new book goes deeper into the theme of personal transformation and expands into relationships. This is the type of book where you can open to any page and get material to reflect on for the rest of the day. I especially wrote this book for people who are beginning or are in the midst of a great transformation. I hope it serves you well.
Journal Prompt:
In what ways are you actively supporting the development of your emotional maturity? Out of the 4 pillars, where have you made serious progress and where should you focus on next? Are there things you can switch up in your life to better prioritize your evolution and mental health? Do you feel good about the way you are using your energy?