Say No Often If You Want To Grow
You have to be ready to say no often if you are truly committed to your growth. Knowing what your real aspirations are will make your journey forward clear so that you don’t get pulled into distractions. Staying aligned is key because it is far too easy to use your energy in ways that do not support the best outcomes for the future you. Since every human being only has a finite amount of energy, it becomes incredibly important to have a serious conversation with yourself, where you ask: “What do I want to do with my life? What do I want my mind to feel like a decade from now? What do I need to do now so that I can thrive later?” When you make your goals a top priority, it will give your life a new trajectory. Things become simpler; your intuition will have a clear view of where it is heading because it can feel the depth of your commitment. Giving the greater share of your energy to your goals is not about perfection or about being overly strict, it is about knowing yourself so deeply that there is no confusion as to what truly matters to you and what you are currently building.
Maintaining a mindset of humility is essential to personal happiness. An ego that has grown large is naturally full of tension, it struggles to see anything beyond its own perspective, and it is too delicate to recognize when it is wrong. Knowing that you have much more to learn helps keep your ego in check. An ego that is always swimming in delusion will chase after pleasure, but it will not be able to attain the inner peace that is the foundation of sustainable happiness. Self-centeredness takes up too much space and energy in the mind, which limits the qualities of gratitude, patience, compassion, calmness and inquisitiveness that need to be strong and well-developed for the mind to feel the lightness of happiness. Humility is a sign of inner strength, admitting to yourself that you can benefit from personal growth is not easy. Embracing your imperfections helps you put your guard down and opens the door to happiness. Humility and happiness travel through the same mental walkway. Ego is heavy, happiness is light.
Miscommunication between two people is incredibly common because every time someone speaks, they are interpreting their feelings into words and then the other person has to interpret those words through the filter of their own current feelings and past emotional history. Since we are communicating through filters of perception, it takes a certain degree of calmness and emotional maturity between two people to ask each other “What do you mean by this?” or “Can you tell me more?” to really understand what is being said. Communication without patience is likely to fall into conflict. Communication with patience is likely to lead into a deeper connection.
Clarity & Connection:
Last week I found out that Clarity & Connection debuted as a New York Times Bestseller!! C&C reached #7 on NYT and it was also #15 on USA Today’s top 150 books!
This is my first time writing a NYT Bestseller. I am grateful that you are all such a supportive community. Thank you so much for welcoming C&C to the world, this literally would have been impossible without your support!
You can get a copy through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, Book Depository for international orders, and at your local bookstore. Amazon is fully restocked and has ample copies of C&C again.
Clarity & Connection is meant to be a companion for anyone going through a serious transformation and for those looking to deepen their connections.
This one I am actually listening to on audiobook. It is called A New World Begins: A History of the French Revolution by Jeremy Popkin. I love studying history and have been on the look-out for a solid and well told history of the French Revolution. It was such a pivotal moment because it really helped shape the modern world. I write a lot about understanding ourselves as individuals, but part of that work is understanding ourselves within the historical and cultural context that we live in.
Is there a situation or person in your life that tests your patience and makes you react negatively pretty quickly? Do you know the roots of that negative feeling? Is there a way you can change your perspective on the situation so that you don’t lose your peace so quickly?