Questions & Answers

May 24, 2022

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Questions & Answers

I’ve consumed most self-healing books, but my body and heart is still in pain. Why?
Healing is about feeling, not about thinking. Reading uses your ability to understand things at the intellectual level, but most healing happens at the level of experience. It is important to realize that the way you have reacted to what you have felt in the past gets imprinted into your subconscious, these imprints get hardened into habit patterns that impact your thoughts and behaviors. What you find in the long-term is that you end up reacting in similar ways that you have in the past. Undoing these reactions and learning how to live in a new way is truly a long journey that starts when you enhance your ability to feel and let go. Reading can help illuminate what is happening within you but healing requires presence between you and yourself. Bringing your attention inward and letting yourself feel your reality is the basis of a lot of healing modalities. Reading should be a source of information and inspiration, but it should move you into bringing a healing practice into your daily life. What made a drastic difference for me was serious meditation – going to retreats and then bringing meditation into my daily life. Meditating helped me break old habit patterns and helped me build new habits that are more aligned with presence and peace. There are a lot of different techniques that can help you heal, you have to find what works for you.
How to get over a break-up?
Let yourself accept what happened, it is the ending of a home so it is natural to feel sadness. What makes break ups hard is getting stuck in imagining the past and craving for something that is no longer there. The only way forward is to bring yourself back to the present moment. There is no set timeline or path to healing because hearts are unique. What you can do is work on your self-love, give yourself what you have been craving from others, feed your needs, connect with good friends and find joy in the small moments of life. Self-love is especially important because it is a gateway into getting to know yourself better and letting go of the past. This is also a good time to build new habits that can align you with a more fulfilling life. You can also make time to reassess what you are actually looking for in a partner. More than anything, your own acceptance will make you feel whole. Let this be a period of healing and evolution that radically improves your life.
If you could recommend one book to your younger self, what would it be and why?
The book that I have read more than any other is Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. I usually reread it every 1-2 years. The first time I read it I was about 24 years old. It is not only an incredible story, it has a lyrical quality that few books can match. The ups and downs that Siddhartha goes through and his overarching goal of freedom feels really accessible and inspiring. If I had read it when I was 15 or 16, it may have inspired me to start meditating at a younger age.
How do you cope with death? We all die one day but I fear that.
A lot of sorrow and suffering stems from our rejection of impermanence. The most widespread universal law is change, meaning that everything that arises will eventually pass away. Nothing and no one can hide from this movement of reality. What many forget to consider is the law of change is also the reason that we all exist, if things were always static and unchanging, the long stream of cause and effect that created life would not be possible. Many of us fear change, but we also need to be grateful for it because it gives us all the opportunity to be. If we embrace the temporary nature of being, it can actually inspire us into greater presence. Because we know things end, it moves us into greater appreciation of what is happening right in front of us. Embracing change gives you the courage to act on your dreams, to tell your dear ones that you love them, and to live your truth. The most beautiful aspect of embracing change is that it will encourage you to love better now, instead of later.
What can you do to connect with your true purpose and gifts?
Start healing yourself first and then you will come in contact with deeper and more genuine aspirations. Often, we end up pursuing what society and our parents have conditioned us to think is the right way to use our time. But for many that path will lead to dissatisfaction and lack of purpose. When you start turning inward to heal and let go, you start removing the layers of heavy conditioning and trauma that have been blocking your natural creativity from coming forward. When your mind is lighter, it will more easily connect with its talents and find a way to use those talents to serve others.

Big Sale: 36% off Clarity & Connection

The price of Clarity & Connection is incredibly low on Amazon right now. Lower than most of the sales from last year.

Clarity & Connection is 36% off the original price.

I wish I could tell you when the sale will be over, but I don’t control the online prices.

You can get a copy of Clarity & Connection through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, Book Depository for international orders, and at your local bookstore.

My first book Inward is currently 20% off the original price.

Journal Prompt:

How has your healing changed you? What would you say to the version of yourself that existed 5 years ago? Is there a goal you are thinking about pursuing? How would it improve your life?