Last day for The Way Forward to arrive before Christmas
“Must read for every nightstand! I love his wisdom and compassion! I have a couple of his books!” - Jenni
The Way Forward is 33% off on Amazon and available in local bookstores.
To live with an open heart, one that is emotionally ready for connection, is bound to come with risks. When you fall in love and start the process of building a deep bond with another human being, love becomes more than a feeling, it becomes an energy that shapes and molds your life. When a partnership ends, especially when the ending is unwanted, the sting of having to create a new way of existing is significant and sometimes overwhelming.
Not only do you have to deal with the material changes like altering your daily routine that used to be deeply entangled with your former partner, you also have to deal with the heavy emotions that come with a break up.
When two lives that have intentionally moved alongside one another for a long period of time, decide to go their separate ways, hurt is bound to come up because you are forced to let go of the parts of your identity that were connected to your relationship. Facing loneliness and missing someone, who may or may not have been good for you, is natural because they were a big part of your life. Together no longer, you are forced to reassess and rebuild what home means within yourself. Together no longer, you have no other choice but to go beyond your comfort zone and enter into the unknown.
Even though the pain is substantial there are 4 key realizations that will help you feel renewed:
Your time was not wasted. The energy you used building patience, speaking up for yourself, setting boundaries, having difficult conversations, improving your ability to communicate your emotions – all of these are valuable qualities that will support every part of your life. Having a partner often creates the conditions for you to get to know yourself more deeply, to see the behavior patterns you were once unaware of, and to better understand your triggers. A partnership, whether harmonious or not, will function like a mirror. The combination of seeing yourself clearly and accepting the challenge of growth will help you become a more socially skillful individual in the long run. If you look at your former relationship through the right lens, there will be plenty there for you to study and learn. Realizing the value you gained out of something that ended can be deeply healing.
Let yourself grieve the loss of the relationship but remind yourself that this is not the end of the world. The pain is real but just like everything else in this universe, it is impermanent. Heartache can simply not last forever, it will have its ups and downs, moments when you feel it more strongly than others, but if you use this as an opportunity for rebirth, your grief will become fuel for your evolution. Allow your sorrow to point you in the direction of the home that you need to strengthen within yourself. Don’t suppress your emotions, give them space to breathe, observe them, feel them, let them move through you, but don’t attach yourself to them.
What are you looking for that you can give yourself? Heartache should initiate a period of self-love. This is a time when you can become a better friend to yourself. Ask yourself: “How can I treat myself better?” and follow through on activating the love you are missing from within. Building a home within yourself is not just about self-acceptance, it is about reinforcing habits and understandings that help you feel at peace in your solitude. Feeling full while alone means there is no longer distance between you and yourself. Use the heavy emotions you feel as a medium to connect more deeply with yourself. Remember, the relationship you have with yourself is the longest and most impactful relationship you will ever have in your life.
The value of friendship. When a relationship gets serious, a lot of your energy is placed into it and unconsciously that energy is taken from what you would have placed into other connections with friends and family. This is not done out of malice or carelessness, most often it is simply because it takes a lot of time to build a partnership and time is not limitless. The lesson many people learn during periods of heartbreak is that it is healthier to consistently feed your friendships, whether you are in a relationship or not, because great fulfillment comes from community. Every individual in your life will help bring out a unique side of you, this gets stunted when you center your life around just one individual. Let your friends know that you appreciate them, let them support you and find ways to help them when they need it. Friendships are some of the most nourishing connections that you will experience in your life.
Let this be a moment of powerful rebirth for you. The hurt is real but so is the potential for you to emerge as a restored and revitalized version of yourself. Let this ending be the beginning of a beautiful new chapter in your life.
Holiday Sale For All My Books:
Today is the last day to order so they can arrive before Christmas.
Clarity & Connection 37% off. My most highly rated book and has sold over 500k copies. This one includes some of my most popular poems and short essays. It is useful for daily self-reflection.
Lighter 48% off. My first nonfiction book that debuted as a #1 NYT Bestseller. I go deeply into personal transformation in this one and include a lot of my own story.
Inward 57% off. My first poetry and prose book has the biggest sale out of all of my books. This book is especially good for anyone who is just starting their personal transformation journey.
Hardcover Inward trilogy 34% off. Includes Inward, Clarity & Connection, and The Way Forward. This one is a great gift for people who have always wanted the hardcover version of my poetry books.
All of my books can be found at your local bookstore too.