The Potential for Rebirth
To live with an open heart, one that is emotionally ready for connection, is bound to come with risks. When you fall in love and start the process of building a deep bond with another human being, love becomes more than a feeling, it becomes an energy that shapes and molds your life. When a partnership ends, especially when the ending is unwanted, the sting of having to create a new way of existing is significant and sometimes overwhelming.
Not only do you have to deal with the material changes like altering your daily routine that used to be deeply entangled with your former partner, you also have to deal with the heavy emotions that come with a break up.
When two lives that have intentionally moved alongside one another for a long period of time, decide to go their separate ways, hurt is bound to come up because you are forced to let go of the parts of your identity that were connected to your relationship. Facing loneliness and missing someone, who may or may not have been good for you, is natural because they were a big part of your life. Together no longer, you are forced to reassess and rebuild what home means within yourself. Together no longer, you have no other choice but to go beyond your comfort zone and enter into the unknown.
Even though the pain is substantial there are 4 key realizations that will help you feel renewed:
Your time was not wasted. The energy you used building patience, speaking up for yourself, setting boundaries, having difficult conversations, improving your ability to communicate your emotions – all of these are valuable qualities that will support every part of your life. Having a partner often creates the conditions for you to get to know yourself more deeply, to see the behavior patterns you were once unaware of, and to better understand your triggers. A partnership, whether harmonious or not, will function like a mirror. The combination of seeing yourself clearly and accepting the challenge of growth will help you become a more socially skillful individual in the long run. If you look at your former relationship through the right lens, there will be plenty there for you to study and learn. Realizing the value you gained out of something that ended can be deeply healing.