Love, Intuition, and Small Steps
Starting in June, weekly writing like this will be behind the paywall, but first I want to give you a sample of what it will be like to join the subscription community. The comments are now open, feel free to reflect and discuss. If you have any questions for me, you can write them in the comments too. I will pick a few of your questions to address in next week’s post. Click the button below to sign up to become a paid subscriber so you can continue receiving new writing weekly. Free subscribers will continue to get new writing once a month.
The fastest thing that can squander a beautiful connection is attachment, meaning the craving to have things occur in very particular way. Often, attachment is exacerbated by fears that stem from our unhealed emotional history. Tumultuous and unobserved emotions snowball into insecurities which strengthen the misguided idea that pursuing our attachments is the only way to create safety and abundance in our lives. Our hurt tricks us into thinking that our only way to keep love is to cling to it. Insecurity will manifest itself as control, which blocks the flow of real love. The truth is that only open hands can carry love well; hands that are closed tightly cannot receive or give love. Love’s closest synonym is freedom, which means that love is not something that can thrive in a constricted environment. Love needs space to stretch, expand, and flow. A common fear is that without the constraints of attachments and expectations love will never be able to last. Love between two people does require a middle ground where both can meet, but attachments cannot provide this space because they are far too rigid. Healthy love creates its middle ground through calm communication and voluntary commitments. Commitments are mutually agreed upon actions and ways of being that both partners feel good about. Commitments work because they are simultaneously sturdy and flexible. When each person decides that their needs or wants have shifted, they can also shift how they show up for each other in the relationship. Harmonious partners align their commitments with their growth and with clear ways to support each other’s happiness.
Confusion comes from being disconnected from your intuition. Learning how to go along with what feels right, not in the sense of following your cravings, but in the sense of moving in the direction of what supports your evolution and your highest good, is a necessary skill to learn. There are two critical things to understand about intuition. One is that it doesn’t care about your comfort zone. It will ask you to be bold and brave even if you do not feel ready. Just like love, intuition is also a vehicle for growth. If you listen to it, it will help elevate you to new personal heights, but to get there you will have to face the heaviness that is weighing you down so you can fully let it go. The second is that it may ask you to place yourself in difficult situations where you have to face your fears, but it’ll never ask you to hurt yourself. Your intuition will ask you to be courageous, but it will not ask you to be reckless. Attuning yourself to your intuition is a personal process. For me, intuition feels like a calm knowing that appears in the body. If I don’t listen to it the first time it will reappear sporadically with tranquil certainty. Intuition has a softness to it, even when it asks you to make bold moves. Intuition is quite different from the reactive rambles of the mind or moments of emotional turbulence – both of these often carry tension whereas intuition flows with important information that can help you.
Our society glorifies speed, big leaps forward, and meteoric rises, but reality usually moves at a slower pace, especially when it comes to personal transformation. Every day doesn’t have to be a big win for you to end up in a thriving and beautiful place. Transformation isn’t a smooth process. Cloudy days are bound to happen. Setbacks are natural. Down moments are expected. But in the end, small steps will get you to where you want to go. Evolving into a new you is a slow and intentional process where you have to essentially build the new habits that you need to live a more peaceful and fulfilling life. Teaching your mind to move in a new direction will take repetition and time. Often, it will feel like you are moving against a strong current of old conditioning, but eventually the new you will more easily come forward. Our task as we move into a new way of living is to reorient our idea of success away from fast results and fully embrace small daily accomplishments. This is how we build momentum for the long journey. Remember, happiness is not achieved overnight, peace takes time to build, a healthy mind requires slow and gentle tending.
Big Price Drop: 36% off Clarity & Connection
I wish I could tell you when the sale will be over, but I don’t control the online prices.
How do you support freedom in your relationships? What does ideal love look like to you? What does your intuition feel like to you? What small steps are you currently working on taking?
Clarity & Connection USA (36% off the original price)
Inward (20% off the original price)