Love, Acceptance, and Relationships
Expand your idea of love beyond it being a source of shelter, soothing and nourishment and allow yourself to see that it is also meant to help you evolve beyond your comfort zone. Whether you are focusing on raising the banner of love within yourself or whether you are practicing love within a relationship, love itself will challenge you to expand, let go, and flourish into a greater you. To be able to treat all parts of you with self-love, meaning you embrace the entirety of your emotional history with gentleness and acceptance, is truly a hero’s journey. Overcoming your past to be able to love well within the present moment of a relationship is a direct way of choosing evolution over stagnation. No matter the arena within which you encounter love, it is a seed that cannot help but blossom. When you allow love into your being it will turn your attention to letting go, because the hurt that you feel is the pain that you keep dragging from the past into your present. Love will require you to construct a new intentional responses instead of replaying old hurt. Love will ask you to let go of your old sense of self so that you can enjoy the freedom of flexibility. Love will teach you to practice the power of giving while simultaneously learning how to build proper boundaries. Love is water and hurt is stone. If you let water flow powerfully, it will remove all residue and blockages.
Mature relationships strive to apply a middle path that both individuals find nourishing. The truth is that if one person tries to get every single thing that they want in a relationship, their actions will become controlling and they will not be able to properly make space for the happiness of their partner. If one person is always dominating and dictating, then the other will eventually become unsatisfied and feel unseen. A relationship is a cooperative union, an agreement where both people commit to supporting each other’s happiness. This means that you may only get half of what you want but the other half of your joy should come from helping your partner get what they want. There is a high likelihood that you will get much more than half of what you want because you and your partner’s interests will align in many different cases. Harmony arises when you strike a balance between giving, receiving and letting go. Finding a middle path where both of you feel empowered, listened to, and nourished requires a high degree of honest and calm communication. You not only should develop the skill of honoring each other’s truth, but also taking a good look within yourself to see what is actually important to you. Being able to deduce a genuine need or want versus a craving that leads nowhere is a game changer – this will help you actualize what truly matters and bring about more fulfillment in your partnership.
Even when healing and growth have been one of the primary focuses of your life for an extended period of time, there will still be stumbles where you take an unwanted step backwards or when you see a rough side of yourself that you have to work on accepting. There may even be moments where you find yourself disconnected from the events happening in front of you, but this is not something to fear, it is actually a sign that your self-awareness has expanded. Before active healing and growth, it is common to move through life in a disconnected and dissociated manner without even being aware that this is happening. As you take your evolution into your hands, you can more easily notice when dissociation strikes and reaffirm your presence in the moment that is before you. In all cases when you see a side of yourself that you do not want to feed, your main tool is acceptance. Acceptance has the quality of smoothness that helps soften roughness and tension. Acceptance creates stability and it offers the spaciousness that you need to see more options of behavior than simply going along with old ways of being. Acceptance is needed before transformative action can occur.
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How do you define love? What friendship or relationship in your life stands out as an ideal? What is it that makes it work so well? How are you with letting go and finding a middle path in relationships? How have you managed recent tough moments in your life?
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