How To Love Better
9 Strategies That Can Help Love Flow Vibrantly
Everyone enters a relationship with a multitude of imperfections. Depending on the person and their emotional history, there can be a wide range of internal matters that are unresolved. Hurt from the past they still carry, behavior patterns they are unaware of, fears that hold them back from connecting deeply – many things can form blockages that slow down the flow of love between two people.
Since ego is so predominant in daily life it will naturally and consistently impede the selflessness, kindness, and patience needed to support the harmony of a relationship. Attachment and the craving to control, which are intertwined with ego, also stand as roadblocks that each individual has to gradually undo if they want to enjoy a peaceful and fulfilling connection.
In many ways, a relationship is an opportunity to learn how to love better. When we accept this framework, it becomes easier to use the lessons we come upon to transform our behavior, for our own benefit and for the benefit of our partner. Even though love comes with its challenges, the depth of the connection creates an immediate incentive to try to work on ourselves so that we can treat our partner better and so that the relationship can have a better chance to thrive.
The following are 9 strategies that can help you love better:
Everything is not always their fault. Tension can easily twist your reasoning and make you place all the blame on your partner whenever conflict arises. Sometimes they are going to make mistakes and will apologize to you, but there will also be times where you make mistakes and need to apologize. Being able to recognize and own the fact that you started a fight is a big sign of inner strength. When both people can check themselves and try to find the real root of their tension, it helps decrease the intensity of an argument.
In the midst of an argument, remember that this is the person you love and they are not your enemy. Your past can cloud your perception and make you hyper defensive. Learn how to pull yourself out of survival mode. Being able to ground yourself can help you let go of anger and go from having an argument to just hearing each other’s side of the story so you can find a healthy middle ground. Reframe your idea of an argument from a battle to an opportunity that helps you understand each other better.
When both of you take your healing seriously, the relationship wins. You both carry baggage from the past, even if you haven’t experienced deep trauma, there are still tendencies and patterns that have developed over time because the way you react accumulates in the mind. Through learning how to let go, you can stop past patterns that produce unproductive results from taking over. Remember, you and your partner may need different healing tools, but make sure that you are using something that is genuinely making you more self-aware and mentally lighter. Meditation and/or therapy have helped millions of people. Find what works for you.
If you both focus on giving, you will each receive more. This one only works if both people are truly committed to taking care of their partner in multiple ways. Only with open hands can you give and receive; love is an active expression of this sentiment. The way you give to each other may not always look the same way because each individual has different strengths and preferences. Maintaining a mindset of giving toward your partner will help you both feel properly nourished.