Habits, Reactions, and Letting Go
Three thoughts:
Even if what you seek is total transformation, the best way to get there is to focus on a few changes first. Trying to completely overhaul your life all at once can end up feeling overwhelming because your attention will be in too many different areas. Picking one or two new habits to establish and giving them the time they need to mature will set you up for long term victory. Once a new way of being feels second nature, you can expand into a new area. The new foundation you have been working on will be sturdy enough for you to build on top of it. The deepest transformations that end up being long lasting do not happen quickly, they are constructed slowly within you. Our society has an obsession with speed and a lot of that trickles into our idea of wellness and wellbeing. When it comes to your healing, a quick fix will not reach the root causes of your inner struggle. Intentionally focusing consistent energy on the particular area that you wish to grow in will bring you substantial results. There is beauty in embracing the long and slow journey forward. The brave and wise see patience as a noble way of being.
Part of growing into maturity and reclaiming your power is taking ownership over the reactions that are happening in your mind. Difficult moments are bound to happen because life is a long series of ups and downs. Much of life is uncontrollable so there is no way to create a life where there is an endless stream of pleasant situations. The deeper your attachment is to pleasant moments, the more severe your reactions will be when unwanted things occur. Things can happen that are objectively bad, but you still need to check in with yourself and see if your reactions are making things harder than they need to be. The unconscious habit pattern is to take a tough situation and elevate the intensity of what happened in your mind, which turns a hard moment into something much worse. Severe reactions can even turn hurt into trauma. This is why understanding impermanence is so important. The truth of change reveals that nothing lasts, this can help ease the intensity of your reaction to a tough moment and stop it from feeling like an endless situation.
There is no shortage of people who ended new relationships that had great potential because they were unconsciously attached to perfection. Running away when slight friction occurs is often a sign of being emotionally unprepared. It is no secret that we all prefer for things to flow easily and remain pleasant, but truth beckons us to understand that a reasonable amount of friction is not a bad thing, it is an opportunity to understand each other better and an opening to develop an even deeper harmony between two people. A connection goes nowhere unless both of you have enough emotional energy to properly invest in the relationship. A lot of that energy needs to go into letting go of perfection so you can make space for good communication. Through asking and listening, you can both learn to support each other’s happiness. A lot of connections stay superficial because there is still unconscious emotional exhaustion from what happened before you met. The right timing makes a difference. Great relationships are built, they don’t come ready made.
Clarity & Connection:
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Journal Prompt:
What are two habits you want to focus on building next? What habit were you working on before that you have successfully integrated into your life? What was it that inspired you to take your growth seriously? What is your relationship with the idea of perfection?
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