7 Unavoidable Laws
Attachments hurt. Clinging fills you with stress. Craving what isn’t in front of you can fill you up with tension.
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“This book is probably the best relationship book I have ever read, and I have read A LOT of them. So well written and really resonated with me. Other books have questions at the end of each chapter to think about. But this is one that I actually took the time to answer and write down. Can't recommend this book highly enough.” - Peter A.
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7 Unavoidable Laws
1. Your happiness is ultimately defined by your mindset. It is a myth that happiness is created by your external environment. To see beauty, to feel gratitude, to have the presence you need to enjoy the company around you, your mind needs to have the clarity to observe life without constantly projecting negativity from the past onto the present. Others can bring you some degree of joy, but the greatest vibrancy of happiness can only come from within.
2. You can’t control how others perceive you. You can be the kindest and most well-meaning person in the world and there will still be people who don’t like you. Trying to control how others perceive you will make you fall into people pleasing. When others judge you harshly without cause understand that their perception is not just driven by what is happening in the present moment, it is partially shaped by whatever has happened to them in the past.
3. Change has the power to give, and it has the power to take away. Change means that our universe is in constant motion. It is this same motion that has allowed us all the opportunity to be alive and it is the reason that things end. Normally people fear change and fight it, but we forget to let it inspire us to be more present when we are in the midst of a precious moment. There is nothing wrong with enjoying something that is impermanent. Instead of clinging, hold the beauty of life with an open hand because you know one day it will evaporate.
4. Every intense reaction of the past leaves a mark on the mind and it shapes your current perception and your behavior. This is why healing and growth are essential if you want to have a mind that is not weighed down by the past. The energy of the past is constantly trying to recreate itself in the present through your impulsive reactions. Even though the force of the past is strong, your intention to undo it is even stronger. Build self-awareness, slow down, and choose new actions that align with how you genuinely want to show up.
5. Attachments hurt. Clinging fills you with stress. Craving what isn’t in front of you can fill you up with tension. Attachment is essentially the inflexibility of craving for things to exist in a very particular way. The river of change is infinitely stronger than your attachments. Remaining inflexible will hurt as reality flows over you and shows you that it is impossible to always get what you want.
6. Embracing change is the key to peace and universal wisdom. Embracing change is the direct opposite of attachment. If attachment is inflexibility, embracing change is flow. The only way to really embrace change is to double down on letting go. The part of life that you can fully design according to your will is your own actions, everything else has too many uncontrollable variables. Letting go not only helps you in daily life, but it helps you relieve the tension in your mind. Embracing change by letting go is the key to decreasing the intensity of your stress, anxiety, and mental turbulence.
7. You are a being of change. The mind is a sponge that is consciously and unconsciously being shaped by the information that it encounters. It is natural for your preferences to shift overtime. Holding on to a past version of yourself is not a good use of your energy because that is a chapter that is already closed. When you are healing and growing, you are not trying to go back to who you were, what you are actually doing is taking the reins of your evolution into your own hands. Since you are bound to continue changing, you might as well be intentional about the direction you will grow in next.
This video explains what to do when your mind is feeling turbulent:
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Kids Book Recommendation:
My friend Tamron Hall has a new kids book out called Harlem Honey! This book is perfect for a little one in your life. I highly recommend it!
"A heartwarming tale that beautifully blends family, community, and the discovery of home." —School Library Journal
I just finished the journaling prompt from the chapters on how to love yourself asking “what are you attached to”. I realized a lot I need to work on and had a lot of self acceptance