Your Peace Requires You To Let Go
Feeling without becoming, overcoming ego, and releasing the old you
I am building an app called Ready that focuses on relationship support and it includes a dating function for people who are looking for a serious partnership. Ready is going to be different from everything that is out there because it is for people who are care about their growth! Whether you are already in a relationship or looking for the right person, Ready is here to help. Join the waitlist for early access.
The default for many is that they let their feelings make decisions for them. This does not always yield the best results, because what you feel often dramatizes the narrative in your mind and leads you into making big decisions based on impermanent emotions. When you let your strongest emotions take centerstage, it becomes easy to feed your own tension – like when you react to your anger with more anger, which simply makes the tension you feel bigger and bigger. We often react to strong emotions by forgetting that the ever-present law of change ensures that what we feel in this moment will not last forever. The storm may be powerful, but no storm is endless. Giving space to what you feel is always valuable because it is an essential part of healing and letting go, but if you let it take control then it will be too easy to fall into past patterns. Being with it is better than becoming it. There is a subtle space you should become more familiar with, the space where reclaiming your power is truly possible – the space where you can feel a fire burning within you without giving it more fuel.
The ego seeks to control so naturally it is at odds with the truth of impermanence. The ego wishes to mold reality so that it may have all that it craves, but that is not possible nor is it a path to happiness. The ego is bound together by attachment, meaning the craving for things to exist in a certain way. The ego struggles against change because change reveals that control is rarely possible and at a deeper level that the ego itself is ultimately insubstantial. Control has severe limits. The only parts of reality that we have power over are our own actions and the habits that those actions create. To think that we can manipulate all of reality is a serious delusion and if we are to act on that delusion continuously then it will become easy to harm those we come across. Control sucks the air out of relationships and it pushes away good people. Control functions in opposition to love. Long-lasting friendships and relationships often break under the weight of control. The thicker the ego, the more likely the individual is to believe that their way is always the right way. Control is often a manifestation of old hurt and trauma.
Change will implore you to develop a dynamic identity, one where you allow yourself to let go of old parts of you, so you can evolve. At even higher levels, change will expose the insubstantial quality of ego by revealing that all that is within you is movement itself. As the rigidity of ego diminishes, more space is created for love and goodwill. Some may wonder, what happens if there is no ego, how will we live? Our mental framework would be structured around compassion for ourselves and others, our motivations will emerge from a balanced selflessness. At the level of everyday life, you will function as a more expansive and selfless version of you.
These are excerpts from my new book The Way Forward, which is temporarily 33% off on Amazon.
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I'm trying to sign up for your Ready app waitlist, but I keep getting an error? I've reached out to the support email a couple of times now with no response. Help? Thanks!!
Super stoked for you friend!